Changes

 Recently my life feels like it belongs to a stranger. I am blessed with so much, truly am a thankful person. But, hold on, I miss my man of almost three decades. He now lives with a new wife, walked out of my life, has made no effort to stay in touch with two very special grandchildren. Why do I miss a person that would cheat, lie and leave? It is especially hurtful to know we can not have a conversation about our children, grandchildren or his precious parents. Divorce is so wrong! It hurts so many
I am angry and tired. I do not know where my home is anymore. He wants his wife to believe he never loved me. That all I was or interested in are things!
Just a note here for the record, I refuse to believe his lies. They sound so much like Satan's words. However, the Great I am is my Prince of Peace. I will recover, I will find my path and hope not to be looking back.
It is when seeing Liam with out him, or visiting with Tori or Austin and his name comes up. My heart aches for what should have been the best years.
I am doing my best to go on, things always are better when the sun shines. Today was cold and raining, the grey sky looked bleak.
Being still and listening to the Lord is what I should be doing. Instead my weakness comes out in angry thoughts and feelings of great sadness.
I pray my daughters, grandchildren do not follow in his foot steps and run away. I am wondering if that grass that looked so green is hard to mow?
So perhaps the changes ahead are for the better, suppose I will find happiness in helping others, Spending time with old friends, making a new life.
I believe it can happen, my heart will heal, my brain will not dwell on the negative. Each day will be an adventure.
JuJu's blessings are usually appreciated when I slow down enough to spend more time in God's word. Setting at Christ's feet listening.
Spring is on it's way.
Thank you dear Lord for the blessings! The grandchildren  are adorable, my daughters so good to me, son-in-laws that I love like they are mine. I love my brother, nephews.
A promotion at work to keep me busy! Good friends to hang out with.
A vacation to Tennessee coming up soon.
I think this blogging is contagious! I think writing my feelings down help lift  my spirits....

Spring, maybe??

Could spring be here in February? Perhaps the bad weather is the past, we have been enjoying some warm days. I noticed tiny bud on the dogwood and pear trees in my yard. However,we got a big snow last year the last of March, so think I will  keep my boots close by.
Looking forward to March 18. I am heading east to Tennessee. I can't stand being so far away from Liam Bird! I am going to rock a bye that little bird while momma Hawk works.
Aunt Barbara will meet me in Nashville. Vacation coming up! Now I must stay positive, not work too hard, save energy for the fun time we will have.
Thankful for the vacations coming my way.

Winter Storm 2011

The past 48 hours have been interesting to say the least. The weather people predicted North West Arkansas would only receive about 3-6 inches of snow, last I heard before going to sleep night before last (Feb.8) I had a feeling this could be wrong because the weather people seldom get it right. But it was very shocking to wake up to an amazing deep snow. Not much of a chance the hospital would close  so off to work we went. I stepped out the door and the snow was almost to my knees!! Not sure about the amount in inches but at least a foot! Jeanette and I started out to work and made it without too much trouble, we had to stay in the ruts to drive. We worked as fast as we could so we could head back to her place. The snow never quit, it was steady all day until late afternoon, I believe there was at least 24 inches and of course the drifts were every place. The trip home was not easy, we even passed a car going the wrong way in our lane (rut) The road to her house was plowed and the snow was pushed right up to her drive way! It was like driving through a mountain. It took a few attempts to make it up the drive and into the garage,
I have lived my entire life in Arkansas , we do not usually have much snow. I remember some bad winters in the seventies. Once we got a big snow
that month.
Snow is beautiful when one is able to stay inside and keep warm. I think about snow flakes and how unique each one is. This is how God made them, just like people no two are the same.I am thankful for the beauty of snow but since my days of playing in it are over, it is a relieve when it ends. I know there are many folks cold, animals and birds are hungry. It makes travel in Arkansas difficult because we do not have the many \snow plows or snow blowers or preparation like the northern states.
I am thankful and blessed to live in a lovely state that certainly has more warm sunny days than some.
This winter weather may break records, I do hope the worst of this winter is over!!

JuJu' s Girls

 Wow am I proud of my daughter's and granddaughter!

Jobs

My very first job was baby sitting or "kid chasing". I was 12 and the kid was a niece of a lady my mother knew from the Danville Methodist Church. I do not remember her name, the kid that is: the lady will remain anonymous to protect her memory. I was in charge of this 8 year old girl from 8 until 4 , Monday - Friday for four weeks. The first few days went ok but after that the hours seemed like days. I was very tired of running after this ball of energy. I wanted her to read or watch T.V. , she wanted to walk all over town or play hide and seek. The aunt was a nice enough lady and expected me to fix lunch and clean the kitchen along with entertaining this kid. I won't go into all the games, how terrible this kid acted etc. The  point I want to make is about the lesson learned the hard way. My excitement about this job was all about when the aunt would hand over my money. The deal was I would be paid the day the aunt got her check the first day of August. I was excited about the cute outfits and shoes seen in the Sears and Roebuck catalogue. I had marked the pages and filled out the order form to have ready to mail. I was going to buy my own school clothes! The last day to baby sit passed . August 1 came and I expected the aunt to come by our house on her way home from work. She did not stop by or call. The next day the same thing. One the third day I went to my mother in tears asking her advice about how to ask for my pay. My mom told me the lady was probably busy and just forgot about it. We talked it over and it was decided for me to walk over to her house and remind her. I was very nervous that hot afternoon. I knocked on the door and waited . I could hear the T.V, I knocked again and nobody came to the door. I walked home with my feet dragging. The next day my mother called the lady and asked if she was well. The answer was everything was fine. She must have not heard me at the door and encouraged mother to send me over. I ran almost the entire 5 blocks. I arrived and knocked , the door opened and an envelope was handed to me. I told her thanks. She told me thanks and I left. When I was about two blocks away I ripped open the envelope to count the cash. $9.00 was it. One five dollar bill and four ones, I recounted, that was it! I started crying and ran home. I got home and showed my mother and she said I should call her. Mother thought perhaps the mistake was because  she thought the ones were tens and ten a twenty. I pleaded with mom to call her and she wouldn't. So I made the call with my throat s!o tight my voice was almost breaking. When asking the lady about the pay she made it very clear $9 was it. She even had the nerve to ask me to watch the kid the next summer.
That night when daddy came home he heard me crying. He knocked on my door and asked to come in.
He told me the pay was not fair at all. He understood my disappointment and tears. He then asked me what was the original agreement? Did I tell the lady what I charged per hour or day to watch children. I had not made a deal at all. I learned a big lesson that day. Always make it clear what you expect to be paid whenever you work. Make sure all involved are in agreement and get the information in writing.

Just another January Saturday

Today is the first time for me to enter into the world of blogging! I don't know if it will last or even if others will ever read it. I have enjoyed reading my daughter, Sarah Beth's blog very much so here goes!  My life has changed so much this past year. I am amazed at the joy found even in the mist of betrayal and hurt. God is so good to me hence the name of the blog "jujusblessings'! Here is a short list of the fun times when I was not on my knees or crying like a baby. The storm hit in January so I was mostly trying to get up, go to work, eat and sleep. I was being held up by many prayers, friends and my precious family. I have some coping skills developed from some past life storms so in my heart it helped to know there was not going to be any giving up!! March was a better month when I traveled to New Orleans with my dear friend, Susan. It was a wonderful trip ! We took our time and ate our way down to the big easy. I get hungry thinking about those meat pies and the poorboy sandwiches! We did a lot of wal king or I would have gained 20 pounds. The weather was perfect, spring comes early in that area. I loved meeting Susan's sister, Lisa. I road on a trolley, walked in beautiful parks with gorgeous huge oak trees, and did some shopping in the french quarter. When we made it home God had left me a gift , a beautiful pansy had bloomed in my front yard!
The next week I found out baby bird Hawk was on the way! One thing is certain my grandchildren are wonderful blessings!
July I bought my very first brand new car! 2011 Sonata Hyundai I drove my first road trip all the way to Cleveland, TN. , I stopped on the way to visit my brother  and his family, then spent two nights in Nashville with Sarah and Ryan When I made it to Barb's house it was late and dark but seeing her was wonderful! We stayed up late and talked and laughed. The next day we went driving, we visited a Mennonite farm, and we both considered becoming one of them. After thinking about no air cconditioning or cute clothes the decision to stay in the world seemed best. Barb took me up to Look Out Mountain close to Chattanooga . Beautiful country and from the mountain we could see the Tennessee river winding around. I love Civil war history so seeing the Smokey's and the history came to life. The only problem with the trip was I was not ready to go home. I should have planned to stay at least a week.
 It was a bit scary to drive all by myself that far. I was very proud of myself for making it without getting completely lost.
Oct.1, 2010 is my third grandson's birthday! Liam David Hawk arrived via emergency C Section  6 weeks early. Austin went with me to Nashville to see him. I was so happy he did fine and was a big preemie weighing 5 pounds 5.5 oz. Oct 26 I made another trip to Tennessee. This time was my planned vacation. I drove to Cleveland again, spent the night with Barb. we left for Pigeon Forge the next morning. We went to help with cousin Vanessa's wedding! The weather was perfect, the autumn color breathtaking beautiful! We stayed at a huge lodge  There was lots of fun and  lots of work. I love the mountains! I drove 14 hours home all in one day! I made a stop on the way to spend one night and day with Liam and a short two hours on the way back so I could rock him again.
The holidays were certainly different to say the least. I spend Thanksgiving with Stacey and her family. Friday Kevin and Andie came to my house. Andie cooked a turkey in her new wave oven for me and the Archers, it was  very good.
         December 12 the Hawk family made it to Arkansas! I gave them their Christmas early. I enjoyed two days off visiting with them. Liam had changed so much just like babies always do.
Per Stacey's advice I did not attempt to get our tree down and all the memories the ornaments hold. Instead I bought new decorations , new smaller tree. Stacey put it up and I loved it. I spent Christmas day with Stacey and family, later that evening Kevin and Andie came. We all went to see True Grit. Kevin and Andie spent the night with me . I made chocolate gravy, biscuits and bacon for brunch.
New years eve I worked . Now I am excited about what ever God plans for this year. I am weak but He is strong, Yes!! Jesus Loves Me!!